Unsubscribing from 'what's your favourite' club
Why I stopped caring about favourites and rely on my curiosity instead
When I was in Morocco, on a writing residency, spending time with local artisans, part of the process was to not only observe their practices but also to learn from their experiences and oral history. I had so many questions, about the process of creating, legacy, challenges, and favourite patterns and colours. But after hours in their workshops, observing how they quietly create from a place of love and determination, I realised that asking a weaver, “What’s your favourite colour to use?” is a very ridiculous question. Not in a haha way, but more in a “why is it important to rank colours kind of way”. There was not a single categorisation of which colour/pattern/practice is best. That perception didn’t quite translate in the artistic world of Moroccan artisans. The questions that were raised were more to do with how legacy and contemporary culture interact and intertwine. I didn’t realise how much living in the West and absorbing and participating in culture that demands highly hierarchical categorisations has subconsciously left an imprint on me.
I came back to London deeply moved by this realisation. I didn’t think something that obvious could be so elusive to me. I started to question why do I need to express favour around the concept of experiences, relationships and things. Why I have to have a favourite shirt or a best friend? Why can’t it simply be a shirt I prefer to wear lately, and a friend that I consider close to me.
How does favourite relate to worth, meaning, and purpose?
Is it so impossible for us to imagine that we can love in multiples, can have multiple preferences, equally valid and important. That we don’t need to categorise everything and everyone in order to validate worth. Morocco’s lessons that keep on giving.
And just like that, I didn’t want to be part of the 'your favourite club’ any longer. It made no sense to me. Not when there are more important questions to ask. Such as how do we actually connect in a meaningful way? How do we accept otherness, how does the urge to belong affect our integrity (or does it affect it)? How does creativity relate to our personal stories? Why is there so much imposter syndrome? Why can’t we decide that we can travel in a conscientious way without copying a digital persona’s itinerary? I hit unsubscribe.
Image via Kristen Csuhran
I came across
‘s thought-provoking piece ‘The Recommendation Paradox’ that touched on the never-ending digital expectations to experience the same much coveted curated and someone’s favourite holiday destinations.
I, similar to Panayiota, freeze when people ask me what my favourite flavour or dish from my homeland is. For how can you rank a feeling, experience, and memories that you carry? It is not only highly subjective but also deeply personal and not necessarily very relatable to anyone else. I don’t mind sharing my thoughts, experiences, and curiosity with others, and I welcome people’s different opinions, perspectives, and discoveries. But I’ve learned to trust my curiosity and become less rigid when put into an unfamiliar environment, because that is where growth comes from. I want to discover the world through all my senses that I am given. To make a conscious effort to connect, relate, and learn from others, rather than mirror anyone else or compare.
